Say What?!

I’m on the computer working while the kids are watching a Little Einsteins TV show about Christmas, when I overhear one of the characters ask the viewers, “What would you like in your wish box?”

My children answer with:

Sienna (shouts): “EVERYTHING!!!”

Grant: “A gun.”

I could indulge myself and read into this (Bad parenting? Wayward children? A strangely accurate reflection of their parents? Overall commentary on the differences between genders?) but I won’t.

Instead I’ll humor you with other bad parenting examples….

You might be a bad parent if you’ve said the following:

“Stop eating your carrots and eat some of your pizza.”

“Well, I don’t like having to repeat myself to two little mooches that live with me!”

“Sure, honey, finish your milkshake and then we’ll go next door for ice cream.”

“Go play with your toys or go pick out five toys to give away to poor people.”

“Take a drink of your soda before you have any more of your milkshake.”

“What? Why do you want water? Drink your soda now!”

A certain child: “I think I’m going to throw up.”

A certain (to stay unnamed) parent: “Can it wait until after we run to Target?”

“Do you want to have ice cream first and then dinner?”

- AND - You might be a bad parent if your children have said any of the following:

“Mom, can I drink the grease first?”

“Raise your hand if you don’t want me to cut your face.”

“Everyone keeps saying you’re a crazy lady. How long are you staying like that?”

“Mom wants a glass of wine in her stocking.”

Of course, the above quotes are strictly hypothetical examples.

Or maybe it’s a list I’ve been compiling for the past few months of things we’ve said that were so ridiculous I thought they needed to be documented somewhere.

Hmmm….

Let’s face it, most days, living with and raising children is nothing short of absurdity. Sometimes as a parent you utter something, or hear your child say something, that’s so funny, crazy, embarrassing and/or such a stark contrast to the parent you thought you’d turn out to be. (I still remember thinking those judgmental thoughts about other parents and children, the infamous, “That won’t be me when I have children!” I actually believed my children would never drink soda or watch TV. Oh yes, pride comes before the fall.)

Still, it’s best to find the humor in it all. And take comfort that, as parents, we’re all riding the same crazy train.