Sophomore Year

We are in the final weeks of our second year of homeschooling. It’s still seems crazy to me when I think about it. Yet, here we are, wrapping up Year 2 and feeling pretty great about it.

This was our sophomore year of homeschooling. And just like true sophomores, we weren’t the new kids on campus anymore. I had learned a few things – had a little experience under my belt – but was still learning the ropes and figuring out our place.

It’s hard to have any sense of perspective during the school year. For me, the school year is mostly one big whirlwind of trial and error, stumbling around in the dark, trying new things, standing my ground, crying (all of us), threatening public school, and desperate prayers that this whole thing will somehow turn out ok. From the slow trudge up the hill in October to feeling like the top is nowhere in sight in February, every day is one foot in front of the other or, in this case, one lesson to the next. But now that we’ve crested the hill in May, oh my, the view from the top is beautiful. I can see the steps behind me and I can see the valley and the next mountain ahead. Now I can have some perspective on this year. And I can see what I learned. (Because, the truth is, most days this whole thing feels so much less about what the kids need to learn and so much more about what I need to learn…and I’m not talking about multiplication tables.)

You shall overcome. The thrill and newness of freshman year were over. We had settled into our routine, we were comfortable, and there were some boundaries to test. Also, I had a clearer idea on our weakness and had a game plan to tackle them. Oh, there were tough days. Days where I wondered if this made sense for us as a family. Was this too much to take on and were we all going to make it out alive and still like each other? As I think back to the start of the year and the ground we’ve covered, I can honestly say my kids know so much more today than they did 9 months ago and I feel incredibly thankful for it. I can also see how we’ve bonded, even more so over the hard times. It seems counterintuitive, but nothing brings a family together like debates over the use of dashes and commas, discussions on the causes of world wars, and the spilling of tears over long division (and there were a lot of tears…). We climbed the mountain and we climbed it together.

Dress the part. A friend came for a visit a few months ago and she witness some of our homeschool day. Afterward she asked me how I get the kids to take me seriously. I didn’t have an immediate answer for her (that’s a fancy way of saying I shrugged and said, “I have no idea.”) but, the more I thought of it, I realized every day I get fully dressed. I dress in  “business casual” attire every day. I dress like I’m going to work because I am. And 75% of those days I’m not leaving the house. My entire day will be spent inside the house with the kids working on school and then working on some chores. It’s a lot of effort but I think it helps the kids see that I’m taking this seriously. Being their teacher is my job. Being students is their job.  

Choose your battles and know when to quit. As a freshman homeschooler, I had to check off every block. It all had to get done, exactly on the day planned, whether we liked it or not. There was very little grace or flexibility. This year, with a little confidence and knowledge, I learned to accept when things were not worth the fight. If a book was not working for our family, and I couldn’t figure out a way to make it work, I switched to another book. When a day felt overwhelmingly like I was swimming against a gushing current, we ended early and made up for it on another smoother-sailing day. Ultimately, all the work got done, and some shreds of sanity were saved in the process.

Find your “group” (i.e. make sure you have a support system). I would have never survived this year without the tidbits of advice from other Moms and our discussions about homeschooling. I also would have never survived without the never-ending support and encouragement of my husband. When I couldn’t see clearly, he turned on the lights.

Go to the Principal’s Office. I joke that my husband is the principal of our homeschool but the real principal of our school is God. Sure I’m in charge of the lesson plans, but ultimately He’s setting the guidelines and standards for us. This is His school. That’s why I can honestly say it has less to do with anything I’ve done, really, and so much more to do with the grace and wisdom of God. Any of the victories here are truly His victories. So, I make sure to “visit the Principal’s Office,” through prayers and reading my Bible, on a near-daily basis.

I’m still figuring it all out but I’m looking forward to reporting on our junior year. So, whether you homeschool or not, I wish you all a very HAPPY summer.

My Big, Little Adventure

Over Spring Break, my friend and I went to hear one of my favorite authors and blogger, Gretchen Rubin, speak about her new book, "Better Than Before." I read her book, "The Happiness Project," a few years ago for book club and I’ve been following her blog ever since. Her latest book, Better Than Before, looks at the different aspects of peoples’ personality, specifically relating to our habits, and how we can take those tendencies and shape them to be better. I LOVE this kind of stuff!

First, I have to note about the process of getting there…

When I first heard about the event, I was excited about it and really wanted to go.  Talking about books is my jam. But, as I thought about it, I was fearful and anxiety-ridden about whether I could actually get there on my own. Then I wondered if it was worth even going. Let’s face it, any time Mom needs to go somewhere, it can be quite the process and requires an excess amount of coordination. (If both parents want to go out together at the same time, world-renowned chest players must be called upon to figure out the strategy and exit plan! At least that’s what it feels like at our house.) I’m realizing that it’s never going to be easy but I have to start taking time for myself anyway.  I have to start doing the things that fill “my love tank.” Otherwise, I become a not very happy person. Thankfully my husband was super supportive and basically pushed me out the door.

It was quite an adventure. Husbands had to come home early from work or work from home. My friend and I had to navigate the metro (with a transfer!) into the city and then find the venue. I’ll be honest, I was nervous to do it. I rarely venture out on my own and I wasn’t sure if I could still navigate the outside world. But, guess what?! I can still do it! I can still function as an adult human in the big, crazy world. Yay!

The humor of forcing myself out of my comfort zone to attend an event about changing our habits was not lost on me. 

Ok, back to Gretchen….

It was completely worth the time and effort. She’s so relatable and encouraging. It’s like having a heartfelt conversation with a friend over a cup of coffee. Hearing her speak about her book was the same way. She gave us great insight into peoples’ habits and tendencies but in such a light and fun way. We laughed, we learned, we were encouraged. It was great!

If you haven’t read any of her books, I highly recommend them. Her blog is great, too. She recently started a podcast with her sister, Happier with Gretchen Rubin, which I also highly recommend. It’s a fun discussion with interesting tips about life and people. Good, good stuff!!

Website: http://www.gretchenrubin.com/

Podcast: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/happier-with-gretchen-rubin/id969519520?mt=2

So, that was the highlight of my Spring Break (which I think qualifies me for the hashtag: #nerdalert)! 

Homeschool Is Cool

   

We are officially halfway done with our first year of homeschool. YAY! 

Now that I have a few months of homeschool under my belt, I feel that I can give some opinion and have some perspective on it. It has been an adventure, and there are tough days with tears, but mostly it has been a HUGE BLESSING to our family.

First of all, the flexibility is exactly what we need while living out this crazy military life. Since we started school in early July, we were able to take a couple of days off in September to spend time with Bill after his deployment. We were also able to take some time off during our recent move – and then we picked right back up where we left off without concerns about new schools, etc. And on the days that Bill has off, or is home early, the kids are here and able to have the much-needed time with him.

Second, I am so proud of how well the kids are doing in school. I’m not an easy teacher. I know my child's potential and I won’t settle for anything less. I realize now that no one is going to push my kids as much as I do.

But, having said that, they really love school. I see passions lighting up in both of them and I’m able to gear my curriculum in that direction. And, most important, even through the struggles we are growing together and bonding in an entirely new way.

Speaking of passions, I love this quote...

“Passions weaken, but habits strengthen, with age, and it is the great task of youth to set the current of habit and to form the tastes which are most productive of happiness in life.” -The Map of Life, William Edward Hartpole Lecky

I hope to achieve both with our homeschool time. I want them to learn productive life skills while igniting passions. Yet, as this quotes infers, passions come and go but good habits last a lifetime. 

Finally, I love that I am able to point things out to them when we’re out and about and tie it back to something we learned a couple of weeks ago. No errand or outing is “safe” from a learning tidbit.

So, having come this far, it felt necessary to celebrate. On Friday we ordered pizza (kids’ choice), made and ate cupcakes, presented awards and made fun crafts (thank you, Kiwi Crate).

Lastly, if you’re interested, I highly recommend watching this commentary video about our current school system. Bill watched it as part of his class and then shared it with me. It’s entertaining, informative and thought-provoking. 

I'm so glad I decided to homeschool the kids. It works for our family right now. It was a huge leap of faith and has required so much from all of us but the rewards of seeing the kids learn and grow has made it so worth it.

Counting My Blessings in 2013

When I think about 2013, the first word that comes to mind is HARD. Just-keep-putting-one-foot-in-front-of-another-and-get-through-this kind of hard. I think about a year filled with sickness, pain and heartache.

Yet, that isn’t the entire picture. When I really stop and think about this year, I see a year filled with blessings, God’s provisions, and a whole lotta grace.

I’m going to choose to focus on that part as I send this year off into history. So, for fun, I’m going to highlight some of my favorite parts of this year.

1) We are blessed with some amazing friends, and even if I don’t call as much as I should (sorry), don’t think that I take one of you for granted. I count my friends as one of my biggest blessings. Here are just a few fun memories we had with friends this year….

Sienna's Valentine's Day "Tea with Dolls" Party

Our monthly Deployment Countdown Celebrations. Here we're celebrating Bill's birthday on our "3rd month done" celebration.

CFA meals with friends

2) Another highlight to the year is the visitors we had this year. Want to earn some extra “treasures in heaven”? Go visit a military family. It means SO MUCH to us. Honestly, you have no idea how happy it makes us when you come visit.

This year, both sets of our visitors braved the El Paso heat to come visit us. That’s dedication and love!

My aunt and uncle came to visit in early summer…

And I enjoyed a girls’ weekend with Shaena and Suzanne in the late summer…

3) I can barely type these words with out tears filling my eyes, but here goes (please excuse typos at this point)…God was so good to me this year. I read a Sally Clarkson blog article recently and she basically outlined how when we’re going through a tough season of life, God is actually holding us tighter and caring for us more, just as a parent tends to a sick child a bit more than they might with a child that is well. (Shout out to Sally for ALWAYS speaking to my heart right where it’s hurting) I can give many examples of how God cared for me in His own little way through out this year, but the one that first pops into my mind is this one….

At what I’ll call my “darkest hour” of the year, when I was just surviving the days and calling out to Him for help and hope, this beautiful rainbow was waiting for me right outside my back door. I let the dog out in the morning and – BAM! – this huge, beautiful rainbow.

You could say it was just a rainbow - a work of science/atmosphere/whatever - but I KNOW that God gave me that rainbow as a visual sign of the hope and promise I have in Him. (I can appreciate the whole Noah’s ark rainbow so much more now!)

4) Another huge boast in morale was adding two adorable kitties to our house. They are a pain but they bring us (us=me and Sienna) so much joy and happiness. There is something quirky about cats' personalities that I love so much.

5) Sienna’s baptism was a huge blessing to us too. The fact that she took the initiative and pushed to be baptized all on her own, encouraged my heart and soul a million times a million. I wish Bill could have been there in person (thankfully he was able to watch online) but I know that it was all God’s timing and I'm happy to see my little ones grow in their walks with God.

6) Sometimes getting out of the daily routine and exploring a new place is necessary to feel rejuvenated. Traveling to Albuquerque and Santa Fe this summer with our friends was exactly that for me. Although it was exhausting to travel outnumbered (2 Moms, 5 Kids), it was a lot of fun and will always be a fun memory for me. 

7) The turning point in the year was when we welcomed Bill home from the deployment. We are so thankful to have him home safely. I pray we don’t have to do that again anytime soon!!  Even though it was “only 9 months” it was incredibly hard and I’m happy to put it behind us. 

8) I started homeschooling the kids this year. I love it, the kids love it, and I'm so glad I took the plunge and did it. 

9) Speaking of learning, I learned how to knit this year! It's something I've always wanted to learn how to do. Be warned, I foresee lots of scarves as Christmas gifts next year. 

10) Finally, to me, the entire year has been redeemed in this one month of December. We have had so much fun setting up our new house (which has everything I’ve ever wanted and so much more!) and we’re enjoying all the nature (snow, birds, etc.) and having lots and lots of family time to create new and happy memories together.

Despite the hard times, I will look back at this year fondly and be thankful for all the blessings.

And now…Happy 2014!!!

Our First Week of Homeschool in Photos

This week we started our homeschool adventure. Eeks! I was geared up for a hard transition but the kids were very excited and eager to learn. A welcomed change from the usual back-to-school drama we experience leading up to the first day of school. I loved being so involved in curriculum choices, the flexibility and, to my surprise, I felt a lot less rushed and stressed during the day. And we all loved having NO HOMEWORK.

First Day of School

I'll be homeschooling Sienna full-time and Grant will be joining us part-time. He starts back at his private school in a couple of weeks. He'll be there for a half day in the morning and then we'll cover some science and history together when he's home in the afternoon. I want to include him in the homeschooling fun but I don't think I'm cut out for teaching ABCs and the fundamentals of reading. I'll leave that to the professionals! He'll continue there until we move and then I'll homeschool him full-time the rest of the year. 

US History

Wrote letters to our "adopted" Compassion International kids for Language Arts and then learned about their countries for Geography!

We haven't come up with a name for our school yet (any ideas?) but we do have a mascot. We are the Dangerous Dogs! And here's our fearless mascot...

Speaking of animals, the kitties were less enthusiastic about school. 

Something you wouldn't see in public school!

 

We had a great first week of homeschool. I'm hoping and praying this trend continues. I’m excited to see where this year takes us.

Lazy Summer Afternoons

"Summer afternoon - summer afternoon; to me those have always been the two most beautiful words in the English language." - Henry James

Summertime is in full swing around here. It’s hot, hot and even hotter. Even typing this out is taking dedicated effort because the summer heat is making my entire body lethargic and eyes droopy and tired. But these relaxed afternoons are one of my favorite things about the summertime. No schedules. No rushing. NO HOMEWORK!

Since we don’t have a pool, the kids and I have been reading a lot in the afternoon. It’s too hot to do anything else – and eating ice cream all day isn’t really an option. I love reading with the kids and it’s been fun to see how their imaginations have been sparked by the stories.

For example, earlier this summer we read “George’s Marvelous Medicine” by Roald Dahl. It’s a hilarious story about a boy on a mission to make a potion to “fix” his cranky and creepy Grandma. Roald Dahl is one of my favorite children’s authors and this book was so entertaining that we finished it in two days. The kids were begging me to keep reading. Of course, I was happy to oblige. Anyway, after we finished the story, almost every day for about two weeks, the kids would go around the house creating their own magic potion. They thought it was the funniest thing.

This week we finished reading “Little House on the Prairie” by Laura Ingalls Wilder. I think every child (and/or adult) should read this book. The hardships and trials this family faced sure put my trivial annoyances into perspective. And I think it gave the kids an ounce of appreciation for their home, toys and life, too. The kids have been playing “prairie life” in the backyard. It’s amusing to watch Sienna pretend to be Laura and Grant pretend to be Pa (and sometimes Mary, when Sienna forces him). We haven’t watched the TV show yet. I’m waiting to introduce it until we’ve read most of the series. I didn’t watch the show growing up so I’m looking forward to watching it with the kids.

Speaking of shows, during our TV time, Sienna and Grant are hooked on the show called “Horseland.” We’ve been having trouble finding a good show for Sienna. She’s too old for the Nick Jr. shows and I really try to limit the amount of Disney TV shows she can watch. “Horseland” seems to be a good compromise and I love that Grant watches it too.

As for me, after the kids go to sleep, I’ve been hooked on a show called “Call the Midwife.” It’s based on a memoir of a midwife in London during the ‘50s. I think it’s fascinating!

I’ve also been doing quite a bit of reading. As with “Call the Midwife,” for some reason I’ve been drawn to stories about strong and inspiring women. Our book club pick this summer was the two-part book series, “Her Mother’s Hope” and “Her Daughter’s Dream” by Francine Rivers. I’ve always enjoyed stories that span generations and this story focuses on the relationships (and misunderstandings) of mothers and daughters through several generations. I think it’s a story most women can relate to in some way or another. And now I’m reading “The Favored Daughter” by Fawzia Koofi, Afghanistan’s first female Parliament Speaker. I’m only a quarter through the book but every chapter is inspiring and devastating at the same time. Another story that makes me really appreciate how fortunate I am to live in this country, at this time in history.

So, that’s what we’re watching and reading this summer. What about you?

The things kids (and Mom) say...

If you were a fly on the wall at our house recently, you would have overheard these funny conversations:

Grant, walking around the house sniffing: “It stinks in here….oh wait, it’s just my breath.”

Sienna: “Wow, Mom, you look pretty good for not having on any makeup.”

Me: “I am wearing makeup.”

Sienna: “Oh.”

Sienna: “And guess what, Grant? I almost had to take antibiotics!”

Me: “That pink stuff was antibiotics”

Sienna: “Really? Oh. Guess what, Grant? I had to take antibiotics! Oh, and I had a pink eye!”

Grant, deadpan: “Better than a black eye.”

Sienna, while looking at the overflowing laundry basket: "I guess we're going to have to start acting like Daddy and wear things until they start to smell. Peeeeeeww!"

I don’t know where they get this stuff but it sure cracks me up. And to be fair, here’s something I said that had the kids giggling long after I said it.

Me: “It’s not like I wake up in the morning and say, “Gosh, I can’t wait until Grant yells, “I’m done!” after making a poop.”

These might only be funny to me (happens often!) or maybe “you had to be there.” But for some odd reason these comments make me laugh and I had to share. I guess some days you have to focus on the humor of things and situations...or go crazy! Thankfully, when life is getting too serious, I have two pint-sized goof balls that provide the comic relief I need. 

The Gs New Act

Last weekend we put on a Christmas play for our friends. This was an idea Sienna had months ago and we decided to act on the thought, even if it was a little out of our comfort zones. I mean, I did take drama in junior high but that was several (ahem, many) years ago. We decided on The Gingerbread Boy story and kept the play very simple. After the play, Sienna played a Christmas song on her violin. We had a blast and I think our guests had a blast, too. This might become a new family tradition. Sally Clarkson would be so proud! :)

Ready for Showtime!

All the kids getting into the fun.

In The News: Ideals, Mothering, Exhuastion and More!

Just stopping in to share some random news articles and blog posts that have caused me to stop and ponder things. Especially, as the to-do lists mount in my life and the endless running these past few weeks, combined with some rather sad news stories, I’ve been drawn to some interesting discussions on ideals, balance, mothering, slowing down, etc. It’s interesting how we seek out what we feel lacking in our own life.

I know it’s a lot of reading but I hope you’ll take the time to read one or two – or all – of these articles. I promise there are nuggets of wisdom and blessings buried in all of this! 

“Exhaustion is not a status symbol”

As a somewhat-former workaholic and as someone currently trying to find balance between productivity and family time, this article resonated with me on so many levels. The article includes great advice about feedback and boundaries in the workplace. But it also puts into words something I felt and subconsciously knew but never fully recognized until recently: “‘Crazy-busy’ is a great armor, it’s a great way for numbing. What a lot of us do is that we stay so busy, and so out in front of our life, that the truth of how we’re feeling and what we really need can’t catch up with us.”  I was guilty of that during my late college years and early professional life. Productivity feels really good but it’s also a way to numb and hide from the harsher realities of life, almost like a drug.

The main source of my exhaustion now? Mothering!!

“Why the Battle for Joy is Really Worth It”

We’ve all been here. A very relatable story about rushing, losing our cool and having to take a hard look at what our priorities are and how our actions reflect it.

"What do I want my children to remember — my joy in clean floors, made beds and ironed shirts — or my joy of the Lord? You will be most remembered — by what brought you most joy."

And more on Motherhood…

"I get to be the one"

My friend Martha wrote a beautiful post about mothering. It came to me on “one of those days” and was such a blessing to me. In fact, it might be one of the best posts on motherhood that I’ve ever read. “I know that even when it gets hard, when I stop and take a breath this motherhood thing smacks so very much more of undeserved privilege than hardship.”

And, sometimes, you just have to laugh...

My copy of “A Year of Biblical Womanhood” by Rachel Evan Held just arrived in the mail and I am so excited to read it. The absurdity of it, of course, is hilarious. It’s so far from our current thinking and culture. I’m sure there were many applicable lessons learned. God blesses those who “seek earnestly,” right?! Although some might be taken back by such a discussion, but I think she sums it up best: "They thought I was making fun of the Bible, when I was really trying to honor the Bible by having more honest conversations about how we interpret and apply it. I'm hoping that when people read the book, they see that." I can’t wait to dive in! Take a moment to click through her slideshow of photos. I was giggling the entire time.

Life is crazy. Here’s to hoping we all find the balance and encouragement we need for today.

Stay-at-home Mother Does Not Equal Housekeeper

I was chatting with another Mom outside of Sienna’s school and she was telling me about how she decided to go back to work part-time. She told me, “I was only at home for about two months but I was losing my mind. I can only clean the house so much.”

I was floored. I sat there and nodded, hoping that I was keeping a poker face and trying not to look shocked and horrified.

Of course, it’s one thing to think something like that. Let’s face it, that’s what most people think about stay-at-home moms. But to actually come out and say it, especially so nonchalantly, to me – someone she knew was a stay-at-home mom – was a bit surprising.

First, what a gross simplification of what stay-at-home mothers do! Second, is that what she thinks I do all day? Clean? If so, where does she think my children are while I’m cleaning?

I’ve been a lot of things during my journey as a stay-at-home mom. I’ve been unsatisfied. I’ve been lonely. I’ve been ungrateful. But, I have NEVER, not ever, thought my house was too clean! Or had too much time for cleaning! No ma’am. And I’m a clean freak. I could easily clean all day and that would be sort of fun for me.

Instead I skim on the surface of “keeping-it-all together” – most days I’m making beds by noon, barely keeping the laundry at a manageable level in the basket, finally loading the breakfast dishes along with lunch and afternoon snack dishes into the dishwasher, and if I prioritize and schedule a few days out, I might be able to squeeze in an extra chore, like clean a bathroom or dust. And I know that this is how most stay-at-home moms feel during the day.

I don’t spend my day cleaning. I spend it running at a dizzy, almost panic-attack-inducing speed. One kid needs to go here, other kids needs to go here, this paper need to be signed, this check is due, the kids need snacks, this errand needs to be done TODAY, rush to extracurricular activities, plan a play date, kids want to play a game, homework time, we’re out of milk again…the list goes on and on. If anything, I need to go back to work to relax!

Being a stay-at-home mom is more than a full time job. It takes a lot of effort and time to take care of children (even those in school), to nurture and develop them, and keep them happy and entertained during the day. Cleaning is only a small fraction of my day.

In addition, most stay-at-home mothers are involved in “Mom Groups” like MOPS or parenting-related Bible studies or involved in volunteer work or run home businesses or all of the above!

I’m not sure where or how this misconception came into play but the idea that “stay-at-home mother “equals “housecleaner” must come to an end. It’s insulting to stay-at-home moms, and to the children they tend to, and it doesn’t represent the full picture of what the job entails.

Teacher Survival Kits

Last weekend, the kids and I put together Teacher Survival Kits for their teachers. There are many ideas and options floating around on the Internet and Pinterest.

Here’s what our kits included:

Two Via instant coffee packs from Starbucks

Two tea bags of green tea

One package of dry erase markers

Post-it Flag-plug highlighter with post-it tabs

Post-it notes

Gum

Lipgloss

Some cookies and crackers

Custom-made bookmark, decorated by the kids

I used the templates for the bookmark and envelope note here. I printed them out, glued the note to the outside of the envelope, and had the kids decorate the bookmark. After they decorated the bookmark, I used self-laminating sheets to laminate the bookmark.

 

It’s a fun idea for the first day of school. Unfortunately, I was about two weeks late for Sienna’s first day of school. Still, early or late, the teachers seemed to really like it.

I like to be a blessing to teachers, especially those working in the public school system. Teaching is a tough job. I know I could never do it. And, unfortunately, it seems too many parents make the teacher’s job harder, instead of easier.

Plus, I like this idea because it gives the kids a chance to appreciate their teachers, too.

"Let us decide on the route that we wish to take to pass our life, and attempt to sow that route with flowers."

— Madame du Chatele

Beating the Back-to-School Blues

It’s been a BIG few days for Little Miss Sienna. She’s hitting milestones outta the ballpark. I’m really quite proud of her.

First hurdle was her very first violin recital. She’s been taking violin lessons for about seven months and she’s starting to feel more confident with playing the instrument. Still, when she was asked to play in the upcoming recital, she was a nervous wreck about it. She even said she was going to make herself sick so she wouldn’t have to go! When she figured that wasn’t going to work, she kindly suggested that Bill and I go out on a “date night” that evening and we could all skip the recital. I don’t think so, kiddo. The good news is, she found her internal strength and put on a great performance that evening. I was super-duper proud of her! 

Next hurdle: starting second grade!!

Honestly, I can’t believe it’s already time for her to go back to school! Our summer went by much too quickly (the fun stuff always goes too quickly, huh?). All last week, we were both a little bummed knowing that summer was almost over. For her, it was nervousness about a new teacher and new grade. For me, I know the ‘marathon weeks’ of homework, school, extracurricular activities, etc. are beginning again.

I had to get us both “pumped” for school!

To celebrate the last night of summer, I told the kids they could stay up until midnight. You would have thought I’d told them they’d won a million candy bars! We made beds for them on the couch and they chilled out and watched the opening ceremonies of the Olympics. Needless to say, they didn’t make it to midnight. Still, I won some major brownie points and the kids were beyond thrilled. It will definitely become a "goodbye to summer" tradition for us. 

Then, yesterday, I had the kids create and decorate posters with their name, grade, and their teacher’s name on it. I also had them pick a theme for the year. Sienna picked learning and fun as her theme and Grant picked excellence. We were all starting to get excited about what the upcoming year would bring us. 

Then, this morning, it was go time…

Second grade or bust! 

Not Having It All

I’ve come across a few articles in the past week or so that have really caused me to think about and reassess what I’m doing here, with my life and with my family. The articles address the whole “working-mom-balance” topic. Of course, the media always loves to pit the working mom against the stay-at-home mom and vice versa, which I find completely unfair and downright annoying, but these articles seem to offer an honest look at the struggle women have with balancing life, careers and children. I find the topic fascinating because I once believed the lie that we can “have it all.” That is, until I went back to work and realized, in fact, I couldn’t have it all. It was physically and emotionally impossible to be the parent I wanted to be and also have the career I wanted. Instead of being good at everything, I found myself being only mediocre at everything. I was missing out on so much with the kids and turning down projects at work so that I wouldn’t have to travel or work long hours. It became clear to me in the same way that “you can’t have your cake and eat it too,” that “having it all” is on every level false and impossible to achieve. Even looking at it from an economical standpoint there is always an "opportunity cost" to every decision. Period.

Therefore, I really appreciated Ms. Slaughter’s commentary (and honesty) on the subject. Her article:

Why Women Still Can’t Have It All

“The women now in their 60s, 70s, and 80s who faced overt sexism of a kind I see only when watching Mad Men, and who knew that the only way to make it as a woman was to act exactly like a man. To admit to, much less act on, maternal longings would have been fatal to their careers. But precisely thanks to their progress, a different kind of conversation is now possible. It is time for women in leadership positions to recognize that although we are still blazing trails and breaking ceilings, many of us are also reinforcing a falsehood: that “having it all” is, more than anything, a function of personal determination.”

The response and debate:

Elite Women Put a New Spin on an Old Debate

“Women of my generation have clung to the feminist credo we were raised with ... because we are determined not to drop the flag for the next generation,” Ms. Slaughter wrote. “But when many members of the younger generation have stopped listening, on the grounds that glibly repeating ‘you can have it all’ is simply airbrushing reality, it is time to talk.” Instead, Ms. Slaughter said, the workplace needs to adapt, and women who opt out have no need to apologize.

Another perspective:

Motherhood Is a Calling (And Where Your Children Rank)

“Christian mothers carry their children in hostile territory. When you are in public with them, you are standing with, and defending, the objects of cultural dislike. You are publicly testifying that you value what God values, and that you refuse to value what the world values. You stand with the defenseless and in front of the needy. You represent everything that our culture hates, because you represent laying down your life for another—and laying down your life for another represents the gospel.”

Ultimately, as the last article discussed, whether you work or not, your children know where they rank based on your actions and attitude. 

Still, I think it’s an important discussion. The world is changing and women’s roles have changed significantly over the last 50 years. Good or bad, we have options. Still, the principles in the Bible never change. God has given us a huge responsibility when He blessed us with children. So, how do we piece all of that together in our own lives? In my journey, the answer to the work-or-don’t-work question is: “no, not right now…but maybe someday.” For now, my career is my children and I will never regret the time, resources and energy I pour into them; and whether I go back to work or not will be decided by my ultimate boss, God. Finally, the point is our families ought to be our top priority, regardless of whether we work or not.