Sophomore Year

We are in the final weeks of our second year of homeschooling. It’s still seems crazy to me when I think about it. Yet, here we are, wrapping up Year 2 and feeling pretty great about it.

This was our sophomore year of homeschooling. And just like true sophomores, we weren’t the new kids on campus anymore. I had learned a few things – had a little experience under my belt – but was still learning the ropes and figuring out our place.

It’s hard to have any sense of perspective during the school year. For me, the school year is mostly one big whirlwind of trial and error, stumbling around in the dark, trying new things, standing my ground, crying (all of us), threatening public school, and desperate prayers that this whole thing will somehow turn out ok. From the slow trudge up the hill in October to feeling like the top is nowhere in sight in February, every day is one foot in front of the other or, in this case, one lesson to the next. But now that we’ve crested the hill in May, oh my, the view from the top is beautiful. I can see the steps behind me and I can see the valley and the next mountain ahead. Now I can have some perspective on this year. And I can see what I learned. (Because, the truth is, most days this whole thing feels so much less about what the kids need to learn and so much more about what I need to learn…and I’m not talking about multiplication tables.)

You shall overcome. The thrill and newness of freshman year were over. We had settled into our routine, we were comfortable, and there were some boundaries to test. Also, I had a clearer idea on our weakness and had a game plan to tackle them. Oh, there were tough days. Days where I wondered if this made sense for us as a family. Was this too much to take on and were we all going to make it out alive and still like each other? As I think back to the start of the year and the ground we’ve covered, I can honestly say my kids know so much more today than they did 9 months ago and I feel incredibly thankful for it. I can also see how we’ve bonded, even more so over the hard times. It seems counterintuitive, but nothing brings a family together like debates over the use of dashes and commas, discussions on the causes of world wars, and the spilling of tears over long division (and there were a lot of tears…). We climbed the mountain and we climbed it together.

Dress the part. A friend came for a visit a few months ago and she witness some of our homeschool day. Afterward she asked me how I get the kids to take me seriously. I didn’t have an immediate answer for her (that’s a fancy way of saying I shrugged and said, “I have no idea.”) but, the more I thought of it, I realized every day I get fully dressed. I dress in  “business casual” attire every day. I dress like I’m going to work because I am. And 75% of those days I’m not leaving the house. My entire day will be spent inside the house with the kids working on school and then working on some chores. It’s a lot of effort but I think it helps the kids see that I’m taking this seriously. Being their teacher is my job. Being students is their job.  

Choose your battles and know when to quit. As a freshman homeschooler, I had to check off every block. It all had to get done, exactly on the day planned, whether we liked it or not. There was very little grace or flexibility. This year, with a little confidence and knowledge, I learned to accept when things were not worth the fight. If a book was not working for our family, and I couldn’t figure out a way to make it work, I switched to another book. When a day felt overwhelmingly like I was swimming against a gushing current, we ended early and made up for it on another smoother-sailing day. Ultimately, all the work got done, and some shreds of sanity were saved in the process.

Find your “group” (i.e. make sure you have a support system). I would have never survived this year without the tidbits of advice from other Moms and our discussions about homeschooling. I also would have never survived without the never-ending support and encouragement of my husband. When I couldn’t see clearly, he turned on the lights.

Go to the Principal’s Office. I joke that my husband is the principal of our homeschool but the real principal of our school is God. Sure I’m in charge of the lesson plans, but ultimately He’s setting the guidelines and standards for us. This is His school. That’s why I can honestly say it has less to do with anything I’ve done, really, and so much more to do with the grace and wisdom of God. Any of the victories here are truly His victories. So, I make sure to “visit the Principal’s Office,” through prayers and reading my Bible, on a near-daily basis.

I’m still figuring it all out but I’m looking forward to reporting on our junior year. So, whether you homeschool or not, I wish you all a very HAPPY summer.

My Big, Little Adventure

Over Spring Break, my friend and I went to hear one of my favorite authors and blogger, Gretchen Rubin, speak about her new book, "Better Than Before." I read her book, "The Happiness Project," a few years ago for book club and I’ve been following her blog ever since. Her latest book, Better Than Before, looks at the different aspects of peoples’ personality, specifically relating to our habits, and how we can take those tendencies and shape them to be better. I LOVE this kind of stuff!

First, I have to note about the process of getting there…

When I first heard about the event, I was excited about it and really wanted to go.  Talking about books is my jam. But, as I thought about it, I was fearful and anxiety-ridden about whether I could actually get there on my own. Then I wondered if it was worth even going. Let’s face it, any time Mom needs to go somewhere, it can be quite the process and requires an excess amount of coordination. (If both parents want to go out together at the same time, world-renowned chest players must be called upon to figure out the strategy and exit plan! At least that’s what it feels like at our house.) I’m realizing that it’s never going to be easy but I have to start taking time for myself anyway.  I have to start doing the things that fill “my love tank.” Otherwise, I become a not very happy person. Thankfully my husband was super supportive and basically pushed me out the door.

It was quite an adventure. Husbands had to come home early from work or work from home. My friend and I had to navigate the metro (with a transfer!) into the city and then find the venue. I’ll be honest, I was nervous to do it. I rarely venture out on my own and I wasn’t sure if I could still navigate the outside world. But, guess what?! I can still do it! I can still function as an adult human in the big, crazy world. Yay!

The humor of forcing myself out of my comfort zone to attend an event about changing our habits was not lost on me. 

Ok, back to Gretchen….

It was completely worth the time and effort. She’s so relatable and encouraging. It’s like having a heartfelt conversation with a friend over a cup of coffee. Hearing her speak about her book was the same way. She gave us great insight into peoples’ habits and tendencies but in such a light and fun way. We laughed, we learned, we were encouraged. It was great!

If you haven’t read any of her books, I highly recommend them. Her blog is great, too. She recently started a podcast with her sister, Happier with Gretchen Rubin, which I also highly recommend. It’s a fun discussion with interesting tips about life and people. Good, good stuff!!

Website: http://www.gretchenrubin.com/

Podcast: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/happier-with-gretchen-rubin/id969519520?mt=2

So, that was the highlight of my Spring Break (which I think qualifies me for the hashtag: #nerdalert)! 

Today's Lesson Will Be On Rest

“Mom,” my daughter says as she’s hitting a tennis ball on her Wii game at 9 am on a Monday morning, “I think this Spring Break will be good. You know, to rest our brains.”

Out of the mouth of babes comes perfect truth.

We are on Spring Break this week. I’m not sure who needed it more, the kids or me? During regular weeks, playing Wii at 9 am in the morning would be out of the question, even on Saturday and Sunday. It seems like we’re always rushing to start school, or to start our weekend chores and errands, or even rushing to get to church (sadly, we’re still usually late).

But, we need rest. We need relaxed schedules and time to play.

Last year was my first year homeschooling and we didn’t take a Spring Break until much too late in the spring semester. I felt like we couldn’t stop because it would break our momentum or derail all of our progress. Instead, the kids were cranky, frustrated and burnt out by mid April. That’s so like me, to push until we’re running on vapors.

This year I decided to take Spring Break when our local public school was on break. The break would be earlier in the semester, we’d be able to hang out with our friends that go to public school and I wouldn’t feel like I was going to be arrested when we were going places around town. I think it was a wise decision. I can already see how much we needed it and I’m certain we’ll start back next week feeling rejuvenated.

So, why is it so hard to take a break? Is it because of fear and anxiety? Maybe even a tiny bit of pride? I remember my Grandma telling me she’d feel guilty when she’d take a break, and I think I struggle in the same way.

Over the past two years, God has been bringing me back to this idea of a Sabbath rest. I feel like he’s rewiring my thought process on it. When the topic comes up over and over again, I start to take note that God might be trying to tell me something. A few things have stuck with me.

First, I keep thinking about this quote, “A wise woman knows when she needs rest.” I think I read that quote on Sally Clarkson’s blog about a year ago. It’s stuck with me. It isn’t foolish or lazy to rest. It can be wise to rest.

Second, if you ever get a chance to read Jen Hatmaker’s book, “Seven,” there is a funny-because-it’s-true chapter on Stress. In the chapter, she talks about how she started taking Sabbath rest seriously. I love what she says: “What if God understood our tendency to overwork and underrest, so He made it mandatory for believers to breathe…pause…pray…relax every week?” It encouraged me to try to do the same. (It isn’t easy! I’m still figuring it out.)

Finally, this verse stopped me in my tracks, enough so that I put it up in my kitchen and on my bathroom mirror: “For all who have entered into God’s rest have rested from their labors, just as God did after creating the world. So let us do our best to enter that rest. But if we disobey God, as the people of Israel did, we will fall.” – Hebrews 4:10-11

Gulp. That kind of makes all my rushing around sound a bit like sin.

It makes perfect sense, of course! When I refuse to rest, I’m cranky and irritable with my family. And, deep down inside, I’m resentful. Obviously, none of that is what God wants for my family, my life or me.

I had a long to-do list of things I wanted to accomplish over Spring Break. It was completely unrealistic. After my daughter made that comment about letting our brains rest, I decided to cross several things off my to-do list and enjoy a relaxed week. Isn’t it neat how God uses our children to encourage us?

Trying Out Stitch Fix

I tried Stitch Fix for the first time!

Wait, what's Stitch Fix and how does it work? First, you sign on to their website and fill out a fashion style survey. Next, they assign you a stylist and you schedule your “Fix” arrival date. Your stylists then sends you five items in the mail. You can tell them about any upcoming events that you’d like an outfit for, in my case I was looking for an Easter dress and a pair of jeans. Once you have the fix, you have three days to decide which items you’re going to keep and which ones you’re going to send back.

Why am I telling you about this? Well, first of all, because several of you mentioned you’d like to know more about my experience. And because I would want to know if you were trying out Stitch Fix! Honestly, I have been SO curious about this company and service. In fact, I initially signed up and filled out my style profile almost two years ago! And then I chickened out and never scheduled my fix. I think I was worried that it’d be super inconvenient, a huge waste of my time, and I kept thinking that the items would be too expensive. I think my perspective started to shift a few weekends ago, after we spent several hours at the mall looking for clothes. I realized shopping at the mall was all of the above - inconvenient, expensive and a waste of time! After that, trying clothes on at home became more and more appealing to me. And, if you’re like me, sometimes you just need someone to tell you “try this on!” because I get stuck in a rut with my same go-to items.

My box arrived on Friday. What a fun mail day!

The clothes were packaged like a present and there was a personalized note from my stylist. Those extra touches are not lost on me. They also included style cards showing a mixture of outfits with that you can wear with that particular item. 

As far as my personal style goes, the five items they sent me were perfect! I loved everything as I was pulling it out of the box.

Unfortunately, two items didn’t fit quite right (of course, it was the Easter dress and the jeans – such is life!!) so narrowing down my choices was easy. Otherwise, I probably would have bought the entire box. There is a 25% discount if you do, another added bonus if you love everything. I decided to keep the two tops and the one cardigan. 

It was a huge plus to be able to try the clothes on at home. Initially, I wasn’t sure about the cardigan so I tried it on with a few of my own clothes, and it started to grow on me. Now I think it might be my favorite item.

None of the items were outrageously priced, which was my biggest concern.

Overall, given this experience, here are the pros and cons.

Pros: great customer service, personalized, adorable branding, items were sent directly to me and I could try them on in the comfort of my own home and pair with actual items from my closet, no hassle of the mall, easy to buy and return items.

Cons: I bought something I didn’t necessarily need (even though I love them) and I still don’t have a dress for Easter or a new pair of jeans.

Will I do it again? ABSOLUTELY! 

 

P.S. If you think you might try it, please let me know and I’ll send you a referral. Or click here: https://www.stitchfix.com/referral/3047495 

Living Like It's Spring

It’s March! Flipping over the calendar to this month feels like a milestone. We’ve made it through the bulk of winter, and signs of spring will (hopefully) be showing soon. But, even as I flipped over my calendar to the new month, I felt twinge of sadness looking outside at the snow-covered trees and snow-lined streets. Spring still feels very far away. In fact, looking at the conditions outside, spring almost feels impossible.

I decided that even though it’s still winter outside, in my climate-controlled house, I’m going to start living like it’s spring (we won’t be running around outside without jackets anytime soon!).  That means, I’ve banished all snowman and snow-themed decorations until next year; I put my flower sheets on the bed (sorry, husband); and I’m warming “bright” floral, coconut and sugary scents in my Scentsy warmer.

As I was going about it, I started pondering about the idea of “even though it’s still winter, I’m going to live like it’s spring.” I felt God tap me on the shoulder and “a-hem” me. *Light bulb going off moment* There is a bigger application here than just switching my home décor!

Certainly, there are different seasons of life, but how many times have I sat sulking in my winter season when I could have started living like it was spring? The quick answer is, more times than I care to think about. In challenging life situations; in difficult relationships; during health issues; through deployments; any time things have gotten dark and gloomy; I’ve willingly stayed in my winter mindset when I could have chosen to live like it was spring. The times when I could have been quicker to forgive, or been more thankful, to bring warmth to my coldness.

Then, I thought about the people I know who are going through their own winter season, of cold hearts and bleak attitudes, in their marriage or with family members. How can we live like it’s spring in a wintery relationship?  I immediately thought of a quote from C.S. Lewis, “ Do not waste time bothering whether you ‘love’ your neighbour; act as if you did. As soon as you do this we find one of the great secrets. When you are behaving as if you loved someone, you will presently come to love him.” Maybe that means a long overdue phone call, a kind note, or an overall attitude adjustment toward that person?

Or there might not be strained relationship, but another full basket of laundry and a sink of dirty dishes is enough to bring on blizzard-like conditions to our spirits.  I know some days I feel like life is one big snowball, and I’m at the bottom of the hill it’s rolling down. How can we push through to find spring? I think it comes down to thankfulness. Trying to find a way to be thankful. A sink-load of dishes reminds me that we have food to eat, and a full laundry basket reminds me we have clothes to keep us warm. I’m also reminded that this particular season of life will pass, as all seasons do, and at some point there won’t be as many dishes or clothes to wash.

As I write this, we’re expecting another several inches of snow within the next 24-hours. It might be snowing now, but I know soon enough that I will see the buds of spring blooming. I know that without question, and knowing it gives me the strength to face one more (hopefully!) snowfall. In the same way, I know without question, God will also bring me through all of life’s wintery situations to a flourishing springtime. How I choose to look at the snow today depends on my faith, hope and confidence.

A California Girl's Thoughts on Winter... and What's Saving My Life Right Now

I used to think that winter was a cold spell in January. No worries, February is just around the corner, I used to think. And by April, life was all flowers, sunshine and bunnies.

Then we moved to Northern Virginia.

Oh, hi there wintertime. What’s that you say? You start in November and last until April? Really?

Hey, in my defense, I grew up in Southern California and have only lived in the southern half of the United States. I thought what I had was the norm. I had heard stories about snow but I thought people were talking about Canada. So, basically I was completely naïve.

We arrived in our new state (and new biome) right at the beginning of winter. Sadly, there was no easing into winter last year. It was bitterly cold, dark and snowy. For weeks. I know it was bad because even the locals were complaining about it. It seems a lot of people have trouble coping with winter.

I think reality set in for me last February when I was talking to one of my local friends and was like, “Wow! Isn’t it crazy that we’re getting snow in February?!”

And she responded, “We always get snow in February and usually March, too.”

I casually responded, “Oh, ok. Good to know.” But inside my heart was breaking.

Anyway, I was beyond joyous to see springtime come. I was so thrilled that I wanted to kiss every tulip bulb. We had survived! Thank you, Lord!

I didn’t think about winter again until early November when the first snowflake showed up on my 10-day forecast.

Gulp.

It was back.

But – hooray! – I had learned a few lessons and was going to fight back against the wintertime blues this time around. (To be fair, this winter has been much milder than last winter. Still, all winter wartime tactics are being used.)

Here is a list of what is saving my life right now, right here, right in the middle of winter. 

1)    I’m using my “Happy” light every morning. I heard about this light therapy stuff late last winter, when someone posted that this light was on sale on Amazon and how much it had helped them. Then I read the reviews and I was convinced enough to buy it and give it a try. I only partly believed it would help, but the first few times I tried it, I realized that it DID really help me get moving in the morning. So, this winter, I pulled it out at the first sign of snow, and I have been sitting in front of it every morning since. 

2)    Along with my light therapy, I’m setting aside time to read my Bible every morning. It’s me, my “sunshine”, my cup of coffee, and my Bible. No pets, husband or kids. I’ve never been able to carve a few minutes for myself in the morning and I’ve always wanted to do it. I’m realizing the trick is to lock yourself away in your room and ignore everyone. It’s the only way I can do it. Having a “buffer zone” before dealing with the crazies and craziness of the day has been a game changer for me. I highly recommend it!

3)    Taking extra Vitamin D and exercising regularly. It’s so cold and dark that most days I don’t want to move my body away from the fireplace. I have to fight the urgings of the fireplace, though, because even if I squeeze in only two workouts a week, it makes a big difference in my mood, stress levels and lessens my backaches. As for the Vitamin D, taking it also has a significant effect on my energy levels. If I haven’t taken it in a few days, and then I take it, I notice a big jump in my energy the following days. It has happened enough times to not be a coincidence.  

4)    Trader Joe’s Very Green 100% Juice Smoothie. I love salads nine months out of the year but during the cold months give me my comfort foods. I know I’m not getting enough fruits and vegetables, at least, not as much as I would be getting during the summer months. To compensate, I have a glass of this juice with my lunch almost every day. It looks kind of gross but tastes surprisingly good. And the ingredient list is impressive. In addition to the usual juice smoothie ingredients, it also has a dried greens blend of broccoli, spinach and barley greens, ginger, parsley and garlic.

5)    Good Books. It’s a little bit of heaven to curl up on the couch with a good book in a cozy room, preferably with a fireplace, as the snow is falling outside. Plus, reading is the (my) perfect way to fill the gap in time when some activity has been cancelled because of the weather. I love the ideas on this winter reading list.

6)    Tea in the afternoon.  The kids and I enjoy Harney & Sons Decaf Vanilla Tea. I've started buying it in bulk on Amazon because we drink so much of it.

I’m linking up with Modern Mrs. Darcy to find out what's saving other people this winter. Since I’m new to this whole winter thing, I need all the help that I can get!

Mother Daughter Book Review

I have a guest blogger today -- my daughter!! 

I don't make the kids write out a book report after they finish reading a book. I don't need to! My daughter loves to talk about books as much as I do and we usually hear all about the book from her while she's reading it. This week, though, I asked her to write a review about the best book she's read for school so far this year. I told her I'd post her review on my blog when she wrote it. She liked that idea. 

Here is her pick and review...

This year l read a great story called Caddie Woodlawn, written by Carol Ryrie Brink. It takes place in Wisconsin during 1864.  I liked the story because Caddie was a tomboy and she went on many adventures with her brothers. Caddie has a problem. She loves to go outside and does not want to be ladylike. Caddie would rather hunt than sit inside and sew. One of my favorite parts of the story is that Caddie helps her Indian friends, when her neighbors plan an attack on them. l think that it was really brave of Caddie to do that. I would give it five stars and think everyone should take time to enjoy it.

Of all the books we've read this school year as a family, it might be my favorite book too. Here is my review...

This is such a sweet and entertaining story filled with fun stories and golden nuggets of inspiration (for all ages!). Caddie is somewhat of a tomboy and is discontented with the idea of having to become a "lady" but through the story (about one year) she finds her place in the world. Addressing that issue, her father says this:

“It's a strange thing, but somehow we expect more of girls than of boys. It is the sisters and wives and mothers, you know, Caddie, who keep the world sweet and beautiful. What a rough world it would be if there were only men and boys in it, doing things in their rough way! A woman's task is to teach them gentleness and courtesy and love and kindness. It's a big task, too, Caddie--harder than cutting trees or building mills or damming rivers. It takes nerve and courage and patience, but good women have those things. They have them just as much as the men who build bridges and carve roads through the wilderness. A woman's work is something fine and noble to grow up to, and it is just as important as a man's.”
 

Both my daughter and son loved it and were cheering for Caddie several times.

What books have you enjoyed reading recently?